Since it is the end of August, I figured I would help those of you out sending your little ones out into the real world for the first time, because I know it is tough.
When you have kids, you love them, and protect them. They are your life, and everything that you live for. You keep them innocent for as long as you can.....
The first day is stressful for both the Child and the adult. And believe it or not, the child can tell, if you are upset too.
The first thing you need to do, is be strong, and try not to show that you will miss your child. Be happy and proud for your child, they are growing up! Tell them how exciting this will be, and how proud you are. Do not share with them any of your bad experiences, if you had any. If you want to share your experiences, share only the good ones, and keep a smile on your face as much as possible.
And please don't even think just because you cried, or were upset with the first child, that it won't happen with the second child, because I have had five children, and it upset me each and every time!
It is scary for both the child and you......
You have to worry about the "real" World changing your child, teaching him or her bad things, and then you will worry about how you can unteach the corruption from the other children. With you, you could choose what your child learned and knew. In School, it's not just the other children, it's the teachers as well.
Your child is going to worry, if it is safe without you. After all, most of us taught our children not to talk to strangers, yet here you are throwing your child right into a group of them! Your child is going to worry about making friends, and will he or she be as smart as the other children, to say the least.
It is best to prepare your child. Have a sit down every few days before School starts. And not in the format of a lecture. Pull up a chair, and a coloring book, and color together. Nonchalantly as the two of you are talking, bring up the subject of School. And as I mentioned before, only tell good stories.
"You're so lucky, Timmy. When I was in School, I loved it! I had so many friends! My favorite class was gym. I wonder what yours will be?"
This opens a door for discussion, and then it eases the pain. Your child thinks about your times, what you did, and how you want him or her to go, and how you miss it. You must trust School, so it must be good, and safe.
Again: Do not sit there, reminiscing about the bad times, when you were in the Principals office getting swats or what not! This is not going to be a positive affect if you do this!
Children love to hear stories of our own Childhood. It makes us as the Parents seem more realistic. Not just a Mommy and Daddy figure. And if you can make the transition from being a baby, and a toddler to a School kid any easier, you will not regret it in the long run.
Once you take your child to School the first day, do not get emotional. Simply take him or her in, introduce them to the teacher, (thus resolving the "stranger" issue) and ask the teacher where your child should sit. Hopefully there will be another child there sitting too, so once you sit your child down- maybe it can make a friend right off.
If by chance no one is there, or you are even too early, maybe the teacher will let you sit down a few minutes with your child and wait. Show no fear, don't cry, and don't act like you are in a rush, and can't wait to get away. You too, need to relax. If your child starts talking to someone else, let them. Don't interfere. Once your child gets wrapped up in another conversation, try to sneak away. Hopefully your child won't even notice.
If your child is a crier, and insists that you stay, chances have it, your child will not be the only one. Most kindergarten teachers will allow the parents to stay, to make the transition easier on everyone, including the teacher. Remember to relax, and most of all, act proud that your child is going to School. Smile, and be patient. There will be a time when the time is right, to leave, and you will know. Do not stay the entire first day, even if the child doesn't stop crying. It is time to let go, even you need to let go.
If the crying and not wanting you to leave lasts more then two days, there are some serious issues that need resolved. You need to put your foot down, you need to enforce that it is time for your child to grow up, that he or she cannot be a baby any longer. Keep using the word baby. No, it is not 'name calling!' You are simply pointing out that once you are no longer a baby, there are things you are expected to do. Point out things that babies do, they get baby bottles, breast fed, and diapers. Now point out that your child no longer needs these things. But instead, your child now needs Schooling. School will help him get smarter, and be a big boy or girl.
However, toddlers, and babies at the daycare, that is a totally different story....
Explain intensely the purpose of School. To educate and grow up and maybe become a Doctor or Nurse. Or how about a fireman? Build ideas in your child's head, things that he or she can do and be when they grow up. Talk about recess, friends, and gym class. If you have a neighbor friend that attends School, remind your child of this. Even a relative who attends School. Point out how much fun they have, and how they get to play and do things. While you're at it, if your child can spell his or her name, or even count and say its ABC's. remind them, they might need to help their friends learn that. Point out to your child that you educated them a little in advance before School started to help them out. Make it seem interesting that they will be able to share what they have already learned, and maybe even help the teacher! Keeping positive is always a good way to get what you want or need as a Parent in most any case.
A friend of mine, had problems with her Child, and became so fed up, that she put her five year old back into the diaper and made a bottle and put her to bed, without TV. Then when company came, she pointed out that her daughter could not come out and play or visit, that she had chose to be a baby, and refused to go to School. Her child whimpered and cried in the bed, and eventually fell to sleep. When the Mothers alarm went off for School the next morning, she walked into her daughters room and asked, "So what's it going to be Baby?" Her daughter answered with, "I want to go to School Mommy, I'm a big girl!"
Every parent will learn the secret remedy to getting through to their own child. This remedy might seem mean and hateful to you, but honestly it wasn't. There was no abuse, she just made her daughter see the difference between babies and children, and it worked.
As with anything, each Child is different, just like you and I. It also depends, because we all have different rules, and how we raise our Children. Everyone has different techniques and we could sit here all day reminiscing and discussing them. You simply have to find your niche, and learn from it. And if you have more then one child, remember this: no two are alike. If you think you have it mastered, trust me-- you don't!
If you have any suggestions for other parents, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. If you have any questions for me as well, you may leave them in the comments section too. Lets help one another!
Oh, and one more thing: